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December Kafenio:

Talk still abounds regarding the problems in Nicosia where the opening of the Mall of Cyprus shopping centre and the IKEA Superstore has caused traffic chaos around the retail park. It wouldn’t be such a big issue if the new units were nowhere near the General Hospital but unfortunately they are neighbours which is causing concern at the highest level. Nurses being delayed an hour just getting to work and fears of ambulances not being able to get accident victims to the emergency unit because of congestion. All very worrying and potentially a major problem but who is to blame? Surely somebody has made an error of monumental proportions in citing two totally incompatible environments so close to each other. The Mall alone has over thirty stores, ten cafes and restaurants, 5 cinemas and more, with plans for an Aquarium and a Planetarium on the same site in the near future. The IKEA Superstore has parking for eight hundred cars so the pure logistics of moving such a large number of vehicles in and out should have rung alarm bells in the planning department. Not at all, in fact the whole project was completed despite the local municipality expressing grave concerns over the access roads for years. The answer is to improve and add to the existing road network which will cost millions of pounds and take a considerable time and all because nobody thought about the consequence. So before throwing money at the problem why not take a look at who is responsible for the debacle and replace them with somebody who understands what they are doing. In that way we avoid repeat problems as well as, perhaps, saving lives and money.

We laughed at the article but understood the reality of the issue. Global warming is big business, isn’t going away and globally the people in power have to react to the increasing problems. However, when a report from ‘UN Experts’ predicted a downturn in tourism to Mediterranean countries from northern Europe it brought a ripple of laughter from the assembled coffee slurpers. Apparently, the experts say, holidaymakers will stay in their own country and take advantage of the longer summers they are experiencing due to GW. A straw poll of our gathering predicted a large increase in tourist next year due to this years appalling summer across northern Europe particularly the UK. Torrential rain, unseasonably low temperatures and mass flooding has ensured our long lost friends and relatives are vying for places on next years flights. The Brits are seasonable in the fact at if it’s a good summer they stay in the UK for the next year but a bad one and they are like rats leaving the sinking ship, queuing up for the holiday brochures and desperate to get away. As far as Cyprus is concerned Global Warming is not the real issue, we think the lack of low cost operators and excessive airport charges in Cyprus would be a more logical point for people staying away.

Foot and Mouth disease in Cyprus is not something we wanted to hear. Farmers have a difficult enough time earning a living without the added misery of such a virulent disease but it brought the EU closer to home and the reality of the union into focus. Threats being made against EU vets who arrived to complete the cull, disagreement and disbelief over the assessment of the disease and incomprehension of the power the EU community has over individuals within their own country. Welcome to the Union. Slowly slowly the people of Cyprus are coming to realise the power this all-encompassing regime has or more obviously how little a voice any country has in trying to over rule it’s power. A set of rules and regulations for specific issues and situations are usually acceptable to most people but the realisation that your independence has been removed is a shock. One elderly coffee slurping soul related it to the communist regime of the 50’s and 60’s saying the west spent years trying to destabilise it and bring it to an end and then we go start our own. Good point Mr Orwell and welcome to 1984.

The government has unveiled plans to upgrade the islands public transport system pledging to invest £175 million to get usage up from two to ten percent by 2013. A little known fact is there are approximately 650 buses on the island and they will be replaced with brand new vehicles. Cycle lanes will be extended, bus lanes will be used on a wider scale and a feasibility study carried out to investigate the inclusion of a tram network. We admire the enthusiasm and the basic principle behind the move, as fuel costs are ever increasing and town centre congestion a major problem. That said there are some basic problem behind the idea which could cause a slight hiccup. As in most of the rural UK and Europe public transport has been eroded because of lack of use and therefore operating costs are too high. The reason being the buses only run at fixed times particularly in the countryside. Commuters from the villages don’t use the public system for the simple reason it doesn’t fit in with their working timetable. Many villages have either no bus service or at best a very limited one because the powers have reduced the services. The result being people are forced to use their car. Incentives may help, vehicle-sharing schemes are a possibility but somehow I cannot see it working. It’s not being un-necessarily negative it’s just a realistic view. You have to change the mindset of the individual as well as the system before anything such as this will work. I cannot see a family of four from Kalepia visiting the supermarket in Paphos and using an hourly bus service to carry home ten bags of groceries, two crates of beer, ten kilos of potatoes and half a pig. The car means independence especially in the villages.

Oh how we celebrated, what a fantastic idea NOT, how come nobody thought of it before! Just as the harbour area of Paphos is taking on a really nice Mediterranean feel with people sat overlooking the water, eating meals and drinking coffee with a truly cosmopolitan feel to the place. Bang, somebody has to spoil it. The En Plo Gallery offers local artists the opportunity to display their work to the public at large. It’s the last building as you walk along the harbour towards the castle. A perfect position and a splendid situation for something like a gallery to attract scores of visitors and show the talents of artists in Cyprus. BUT at the end of 2007 the En Plo Gallery which is rented by the Municipality of Paphos from the Port Authorities of Paphos will close. We were told the En Plo will next year turn into an Aquarium run by a private businessman! FANTASTIC an aquarium, just what Paphos harbour needs. Fish!
I’ll tell you why nobody thought of it before, it’s because it’s a bloody stupid idea, which will downgrade the area and turn it in to some cheap tacky tourist nonentity. Hello!! We already have an aquarium in Paphos so why do we need or even think about wanting another? Just how many fish do they think tourists want to see? Please don’t even consider the local populous will use it because they wont. We can lean over the harbour side and see fish every day. Please do yourself a favour Mr Businessman leave it as a gallery and don’t be an idiot.
 

September Kafenio:

Hot topics have been bounced off the walls these past few weeks with the Euro taking the stage and the whole EU issue coming more into the picture. The 1st January 2008 should prove to be a momentous day in Cypriot history, one way or another. For that is the very day we adopt the single currency and further embed the island into this wonderful institution called The European Community.

Presumably not much will actually happen on the said day because it's a public holiday, but that aside, from that day forth you will be dealing with euros rather than Cyprus Pounds. Yes, you will still be able to use CYP's until the end of January but after that …no. Yes, you will still be able to exchange any Cyprus pounds for euros at the banks …for a limited period. But then you probably know all of this because the Ministry of Finance and the Central Bank have backed an awareness campaign to the tune of CYP1 million to make sure you do know all about it. You do know all about it, don't you?? Well excuse me if me and my coffee drinking partners are anything to go by but I don't think many people have gotten beyond the "oh yes the euro…January isn't it" thinking.

Apparently this public awareness campaign has been 'deliberately low key' for the time being but will be 'in your face' by the end of September. Something to look forward to then! Even the Ministry are not happy because they were obliged to take the second bidder for the campaign rather than the first and secretly say the campaign isn't getting the message across. They're right there, in fact spot on!! So why pay a cool million for a campaign which you are not happy with, openly believe the message isn't getting across, preferred the other bidder anyway, have just four months to succeed and, if you excuse the language, not be seriously kicking somebody's arse.

Moving on but staying with the theme, the biggest fear most people have, according to another of those so called surveys, is that of being ripped off by businesses hiking the prices of goods and blaming the euro. Don't worry because every house will be given an electronic euro converter so you can immediately check the prices and Euro Observatories are being set up where the consumer can go to complain if they believe there to be a case of bad practice. Also the Ministry will take serious action against a business or person seen to be profiteering from the change of currency. Believe me, somebody somewhere IS going to make a handsome lump of cash out of this change over. I don't know, perhaps advertising agencies, but I have a number of candidates or areas where money most certainly will be made. It is not logical to assume or believe that everyone will be squeaky clean and not even consider the possibility this is "an opportunity". Get real. They are out there now planning it because it's that thing called human nature, it happens, and it will.

I have observed the growth of the EU since its' early days and in the Common Market era I actually thought it a reasonable idea. Cross border trading with like minded businesses in Europe seemed a logical sort of thing. But since those 'innocent' days of the market we have moved on to a huge multi national state ruled over by a bunch of former politicians who are looking at one last big payday and an even bigger pension when they finally decide they have done enough.

The one main problem I have with the EU is the overwhelming obsession to make everyone the same. What's wrong with being Cypriot as opposed to European, what was the problem with local currencies, why do we need uniform laws for countries as diverse as landlocked Austria and … Cyprus?

Indeed those laws have already caused consternation among the locals. An EU regulation rules fishing with nets is prohibited as a hobby. Somewhere around 1000 local people who fish for a hobby and have done over countless generations seriously disagreed with that one. Parliament tried to pass a law saying forget it, here in Cyprus it's ok to do it. President says', sorry chaps that's not allowed …E.U. regulations and all that. Big problem. Cyprus has now started to understand what lies ahead in terms of “we've always done this so why can't we do it now?" Simple …E.U. regulations. Stuff the regulations. Ah, no sorry you can’t do that because there is a regulation saying you can't stuff regulations. You see where we are going here. Joining in is one thing but playing to the rules and changing years of trends and tradition is a different ball game. It is difficult to imagine the government passing a law like the one above and equally it's difficult for the average person to understand if my government didn't pass the law why can't I do it. Ah… E.U.

There is no going back now and the single currency was a prerequisite of coming to the EU table. I just hope we are not forced into so many laws, rules and regulations that Cyprus loses the appeal which attracted me to it in the first place.

There are some good things which come out of Brussels and if the safety standards for building site workers in Cyprus can be improved then that's a positive. I seem to be forever seeing "construction worker killed on building site" headlines. Too often for my liking and if Health and Safety can be improved throughout the island then maybe the chance of some of these guys seeing their next birthday will be increased. They are not highly paid and they do take risks but what is the alternative. Say I'm not going up there and promptly lose your job. They are under pressure to complete the work and so they do it.

If the EU are serious about no profiteering from the euro then logically that extends to anything 'European' then perhaps they should convict the bureaucratic idiots from within their ranks who demanded that cucumbers must be grown straight, don't fly your national flag because it might upset the minorities and trapeze artists with one of the world's most famous circuses being told to wear hard hats to comply with new EU safety rules. I kid you not, when the Moscow State Circus recently visited the UK, jugglers, tightrope walkers and other acrobats were instructed to don safety head wear because of European regulations covering workers employed at heights greater than the average stepladder. Somehow the idea of a delightful female acrobat in a sequinned leotard and yellow Bob the Builder hat doesn't exactly quite work for me. Plus if you fall 15 metres from a tightrope what actual good will a hard hat do? As I said it will be a momentous day one way or another because in years to come, after many an EU directive has been thrown our way, the cost of administering the idiotic rules has escalated ten fold, the people of Cyprus will then decide if Europe was indeed a good idea. Only time will tell.

Finally, a sad aspect to the continuing problem of the occupied north. The Turkish Cypriot side recently refused to allow a group of Greek Cypriots to hold a short memorial service at the site of a mass grave in the north. Apparently they can't allow political activity by foreign nationals. Please explain why placing flowers on the grave as a mark of respect is a problem.

I keep reading about possible solutions, talks, no talks, meetings, the UN meeting both sides, the EU considering Turkey's accession to the union and for what. If there cannot be a basic element of human decency handed out, like allowing the placing flowers on a grave then they may as well all pack up and forget it. It's not politics, it's not about scoring points, it's simply about human respect. To go forward there has to be some give and take, some consideration and leniency. Tell me, where is that going to come from. And excuse me for asking but if you quote "cannot allow political activity by foreign nationals" then please explain the following;

1. If UN Secretary General and other UN staff visited for resolution talks isn't that political activity by foreign nationals.

2. If EU members and politicians visited to discuss the possibility of accession to the EU isn't that political activity by foreign nationals.

3. What actually constitutes political activity by foreign nationals?

I think I understand, it's once again a politician's statement which is only specific to the issue they deem it to and not a general statement which can be used against them at any other time. The Chinese have a saying which goes along the lines of 'every long journey starts with one small step.' Isn't it about time they took that one small step?
 

Any comments? Email info@scenethenews.com

Other Features Articles:

Life is a Cabaret - Features writer Chris Hopkins takes a look at an issue that is all to often ignored in Cyprus today.  >> Click to read more

Trapping Animals is Illegal -  Ruth Mews from the Peyia Animal Rescue Centre with strong views on a controversial subject.  >> Click to read more