|
IN
CULTURAL
OPPRESSION
MARIA
TELLS
HER
COMPELLING
STORY OF
FEAR
At the
age of
29,
Cypriot
Maria
made a
decision
that
would
change
her life
completely.
Having
been
bullied
at
school
in the
UK due
to her
'dark
features',
Maria
tells
her
story of
her
marriage
to an
English
Cypriot
four
years
her
senior
which
continued
in
abuse.
When she
met her
husband,
she fell
in love
with a
man who
she felt
had so
much in
common
with
her. The
relationship
developed
well
from the
first
moment
and a
decision
was made
to move
in with
each
other
after
she
returned
from the
UK
having
had a
minor
operation
and
realising
that she
missed
George
so much.
"I had a
pin
through
my foot
and was
on
crutches,
but
everything
was fine
until
his
parents
arrived
on the
scene."
We were
invited
to
attend a
wedding
in
Larnaca
where
his
parents
came
from the
UK to
attend.
Nervous
at the
thought
of
meeting
them for
the
first
time,
she
chose a
dress
which
would
hopefully
delight
them and
wore
sandals
as
advised
by her
surgeon
for
comfort.
She felt
instant
hostility
from his
mother,
though
George's
father
was
pleasant
and put
her at
ease. In
their
presence,
George
was
quite
different
in his
mannerism
towards
her, not
as
caring
and
attentive.
"He
began to
talk to
me in a
harsh
manner
and was
critical
of what
I was
wearing,
especially
my
sandals
when he
knew of
my
Surgeon's
advice."
Despite
the
aggression
from her
boyfriend's
mother,
Maria
enjoyed
the
wedding
and
decided
the next
day all
would be
well
once
they
returned
to their
home in
Paphos.
Sadly,
this was
not the
case,
George
changed
dramatically,
his
temper
was
short
though
he was
not
violent
at this
point.
"I
became a
nervous
wreck as
he was
critical
of all
that I
did."
The
first
time
Maria
was
physically
hurt by
George
was on
her
birthday.
He was
drunk
and once
they
arrived
home
after an
evening
celebrating,
he
collapsed
on the
bed. As
Maria
tried to
remove
his
shoes,
he
kicked
her in
the
stomach
intentionally,
turned
over and
fell
asleep.
In the
morning
he woke
as if
nothing
had
happened.
"I
confronted
him and
to my
surprise
he
shrugged
it off
and told
me I was
exaggerating.
I
dismissed
the
reality
of the
matter
believing
everything
would
work
out, we
had our
whole
lives in
front of
us and
had a
great
summer
and by
November
George
proposed.
"We were
excited
at
planning
our
wedding,
though
his
family
did not
approve
or share
the same
enthusiasm.
It was
difficult
to keep
everyone
happy
with a
suitable
date
that
would
allow
our
families
with
young
children
to
attend.
"Once a
date was
set,
Maria
focused
on their
special
day with
all the
appropriate
arrangements
which
was
endlessly criticised
by her
mother-in-law
to be.
George
supported
his
mother
and in
turn
became
abusive
towards
Maria,
treating
her
badly
and
without
respect.
“He made
me feel
inadequate
to
organise
my own
wedding
and
everything
I was
planning
was
wrong.
The
wedding
day was
a
complete
disaster,
instead
of the
beautiful
occasion
I had
planned
and
hoped
for." George's
mother
was rude
towards
Maria's
family
and her
village,
the
local
church
and the
reception,
nothing
could
please
her and
she
intentionally
set out
to make
herself
known.
After
the
wedding,
George's
drinking
increased,
as did
his
violence
towards
Maria.
Just
three
weeks
after he
was so
drunk he
threw a
bottle
in her
face
causing
serious
damage
to her
eye. In
hindsight
she
should
have
left at
this
point,
alas she
stayed
encountering
more
abuse
and
violence.
"We had
been
married
less
than a
month
and I
wanted
to stay
to work
things
out.”
George
and his
family
made
every
attempt
to
alienate
her
friends
and
family.
Her
weight
dropped
significantly
and she
became
reclusive,
agreeing
with
George
that she
would
have
little
communication
with
others
just to
keep the
peace."
A year
passed
with no
change
in
George's
attitude
towards
her,
then one
day for
no
apparent
reason
she made
a
decision,
packed
her bags
and
left. "I
now feel
reborn,
secure,
safe,
and
comfortable
and have
lots of
supportive
friends,
a great
job and
have
resumed
relations
with my
family
to the
full."
Forgetting
what
happiness
was
like,
living
in
constant
fear,
she
wants to
tell her
story to
all the
women,
especially
the
Cypriot
ones who
feel
culturally
oppressed.
She
concludes
"there
are a
lot of
women
who are
still in
the
position
I was,
afraid
to
leave,
often
for the
sake of
the
children,
who may
also be
abused
by their
father.
These
types of
stories
need to
be told
and
action
taken
for
survival.
Nobody
deserves
to live
in fear,
life is
beautiful,
life is
for
living."
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